Resilience

"Resilience" in psychology is the positive capacity of people to cope with stress and adversity. This coping may result in the individual “bouncing back” to a previous state of normal functioning, or using the experience of exposure to adversity to produce a “steeling effect” and function better than expected.

For a very long time the quality of resilience has been one that has interested me. I could not believe some of the things people endure and stay well adjusted kind human beings. Where others who suffer little more than minor disappointments are selfish ruthless narcissists.

Irregardless of the life a person leads suffering does not discriminate. No one manages to escape the hardships life has to offer, and there are no get out of jail free passes. No matter how much you suffer or when it happens in your life there is no quota a person can fill and then be free of such burdens.

So for me resilience is of great fundamental importance.

I read a book once about stress relief. In the book it talked about dire circumstances and how people who survive this often can imagine themselves or day dream in such a creative and vivid way that they create a mental retreat or space for them to retreat within and escape their situation. The common term for this is escapism and its recommend that a person participate in such behaviors until they achieve some measure of agency to transcend or change their pilate.

In the film Precious the main character was born into dysfunction and through out the film when times would get hideously unbearable you would watch the main character stare into a photograph of her mother and then the image would come to life and say all the caring and nurturing things a mother should say.

It dawned on me during these escapism moments of the film that it takes a naturally creative person to create these imaginative moments that set the stage for resilience to occur. And despite the circumstances that surrounded the character Precious and whatever fate was to befall her or the people she was created to represent it was that strength and that resilience that inspired people to make a film that touched lives and exists to create a permanent legacy / tribute. To tell a story that has the potential to impact and influence for life times to come.

The Story of Creation:

Genesis 1:1
1 In the beginning, when God created the universe...

As Christians we strive to emulate the qualities and characteristics of not only Christ, but the entire Holy Trinity. The character Precious and the people who utilize escapism creating for themselves a mental sanctuary or holy refuge to self preserve are displaying and participating in God's character. And thus in the same way he transcends and is timeless they rise above and conquer and over come.

More and more Churches are excited to display creative works from their family of believers and have taken an active interest in the arts or arts ministries. I applaud this effort to reconnect what originated with God who created all things and provide more spaces for imagination and creativity.

It is only when we emulate the qualities of Christ and participate in His divine character that we achieve Christianity!

Coaching

After talking with three coaches two I respect and one I do NOT. I have come to some foundational truths about things.

1. Individuals go into coaching any sport for a variety of motivations. Optimally you want someone who :

a. knows the sport.

b. knows how to improve a person in the sport.

c. Keeps the best interest of kids (holistic development) at the center of all events surrounding the interaction with the student. The sport just being a conduit for their further development.


2. Individuals who lack the above will compensate for this in less than optimal ways.



The kicker is if they earn lots of W then they get to stay in their position. That's how Grover won this case. :(

Its not a gradual decent into asshole dome. Either they were from the start, or their lack of the above three lends its self to poor compensations. That ultimately hurts kids.

Differentiation

" I changed by not changing at all" Pearl Jam Elderly Woman in a Small Town Behind a Counter

There are organizations that pride themselves on being resistant to change. Churches fall heavily into this vein of institution. The goal more often than not is to invite people in from outside the institution and then change them into conformity through a variety of tactics. Rather than believing that the people coming in might have much to offer the church their worth is reduced to the enthusiasm of newly found faith. The encouragement of an individual surrendering themselves to the agree upon congregations notions on the will of God. Or if the individual is already a person who believes Christ was the son of God who sacrificed his life for their sins and understands their salvation rests upon this internalized faith then it becomes a matter of how to get them volunteering. After the individuals salvation has been dealt with all other secondary issues become a matter of Spiritual Maturity.

Agreement with the status quo is percieved as growth. Rejection of ideas held by the individuals who control the interpretation of the scriptures is percieved as spiritual immaturity, opposing world view to scripture, or people are politely shown the door and encouraged to find another body to belong to.

I wrote The Myth and The Strawman in 2005 five years later...even with the changing hands of leadership, and the blip of hope with women teaching on tithe and offering....engendered dead 2010 year old language becomes the straw that broke the camels back.

All Churches participate in this resistance to change to varying degrees. The fear of change arising from the effort of each Church to be in the world but not of the world. Being in the world but not of it is a very tedious behavior to accomplish.

Essentially it begs the question how should we go about differentiating ourselves.

If the ways you differentiate include keeping females out of leadership well that isn't different its just outdated. This is a worldly perspective held from the days of the Old Testament. America enjoyed centuries of female oppression that lead to exploited child labor and widows without agency to provide for their children or themselves. That is nothing new that Christ didn't try to change verbally and in his actions from the beginning of his ministering years and the with those he appeared to directly after the resurrection.

If the ways you differentiate include a deep care and concern for the well being of the poor then it can not stop at that conviction alone it must be backed by action. With a food pantry or shelter or providing a soup kitchen.

If the ways of differentiation include boycotting secular books or television shows. I have never met a person who felt compelled to follow Christ because a Christian didn't watch Jersey Shores.

I have however met dozens of people who have been inspired and encouraged in the faith of Christianity by the soon to be sainted Mother Theresa or Martin Luther King.

Two glories to Christ who stood inside the world against the grain of the culture not parallel to it.

Pray with me.....

The Serenity Prayer


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Break ups

I'm Gonna Find Another You lyrics John Mayer

It's really over, you made your stand
You got me crying, as well as you planned
But when my loneliness is through, I'm gonna find another you

You take your sweaters
You take your time
You might have your reasons but you will never have my rhymes
I'm gonna sing my way away from blue
I'm gonna find another you

When I was your lover
No one else would do
If I'm forced to find another, I hope she looks like you
Yeah and she's nicer too

So go on baby
Make your little get away
My pride will keep me company
And you just gave yours all away
Now I'm gonna dress myself for two
Once for me and once for someone new
I'm gonna do somethings you wouldn't let me do
Oh I'm gonna find another you


Break ups are interesting. Some leave you ransacked others your relieved to move forward.

Kel and I have left our Church. Its been an interesting process so far. I'd say pretty anti-climactic. This song expresses how I feel nicely. Especially the line I'M GONNA DO SOMETHINGS YOU WOULDN'T LET ME DO.....OH I'M GONNA FIND ANOTHER YOU!!

"Speaking of finding another you we have actually not made it much past our first pit stop. I sincerely believe if this church had been in town when we first moved here we would have belonged from the very beginning. Sometimes I think a discontented heart is the only way God gets us to move."

Notions on Accomplishment

Ash: Yes, I can hear you.


Ripley: What was your special order?


Ash: You read it. I thought it was clear.


Ripley: What was it?


Ash: Bring back life form. Priority One. All other priorities rescinded.


Parker: The damn company. What about our lives, you son of a bitch?


Ash: I repeat, all other priorities are rescinded.


Ripley: How do we kill it Ash? There's gotta be a way of killing it, how, *how* do we do it?


Ash: You can't.


Parker: That's bullshit.


Ash: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.


Lambert: You admire it.


Ash: I admire its purity. A survivor... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.


Parker: Look, I am - I've heard enough of this, and I'm asking you to pull the plug.


Ash: [Ripley goes to disconnect Ash, who interrupts] Last word.


Ripley: What?


Ash: I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies.

Sometimes Perfection is OVERATED!!

Made

There is a film with Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn about boxers who worked for a crooked gangster. Vince's character is interested in moving deeper into the ranks of the crime ring and teeters on the fence of crooked behaviors himself always scheming and scamming off the assignments the mob boss assigns him.
This stupid yet overt display of deviant behavior makes Vince perfect for remedial crime work, but keeps him off the list for higher ranking positions at the hands of his sloppy careless handling of situations.
However his b.f.f. Favreau's character is sharp and has a measure of talent for boxing but finds himself mixed up with shady characters, and in love with this gorgeous drug addicted stripper and her kid. His connection to the woman keeps his heart and his head entangled in the boxing crime ring as he attempts to make enough money to earn their way out of this destitute life style.
Vince and Jon end up landing an opportunity that affords them the chance to move up the ranks in the crime circuit, but Jon wants out if he does the job and Vince wants to move up.
Crime boss says complete the job and then see how you feel.
They complete the task, and all the while Vince is pressuring him to let this get them "MADE."
When they get back Jon still chooses to get out all together, and Vince with much hesitation chooses to follow him. When Jon gets home and has essentially earned his and his girls freedom he finds her high as a kite cheating on him. She then kicks him out saying she likes the life she leads.
So he leaves a heart broken guy who gave a lot and took the only good thing there was to take out of the whole circumstance............dramatic pause...........................THE KID!

The innocent little girl who did not deserve the life that was about to unfold for her being born to a drug addicted stripper.

So there goes the stories cowboy with the only two worth while elements to take out of the experience the kid and the b.f.f. Cut the rest loose, and he was better off than everything he left behind.

I remember telling the dude who recommended this film to me that it made me cry. They thought it was because I identified with the stripper. Which says more about his perspective of beautiful women and their purpose in his perceptions.

But what did it was the last frame of the film where these two guys that had just been through a very tedious ordeal for to save a chick who didn't want their grace sitting at a table for three eating pancakes discussing the future of the little girl.

Tough guys with BIG HEARTS!! Nails me every time. :)

Recently I endorsed a dude and the chips fell much like they did for Jon. My intentions were pure, but dude was about as honest as the stripper. So I shake the sand from shoes grab my b.f.f and keep my focus on the kids. Thanks Dude for the reminder of my proprieties.

Hammock Instructions

Now that is how its done.