Table Talk

Here is a website that gives hundreds of improve warm up ideas. However one that you can just do at the dinner table instead of asking how was your day. Which typically leads to one word responses, or the need for follow up questions. Painstakingly drawing from your child or spouse irrelevant details that end up being the equivalent to my day was same old same old. You can play a game. Everyone at the table is responsible for contributing one word to a sentence. Start out with regular sentences.

Mom says, " He"

Sister says, "took"

Dad says, "the"

You say, "snail."

Play again and everyone can say two words, and make longer sentences. Put parameters on the sentences. Make them all have to do with school, apples, movies, or their least / most favorite teacher. If the kids aren't saying silly words parents make sure to take the sentences in creative directions.

If someone says a very strange or alarming word pause before the next round to ask why they picked that word. Where did the inspiration come from. Sometimes you can unveil more about the persons day from the subconscious than you would just by asking directly.

This little game can kind of train a person to say unusual things in the midst of common place conversations. As little as 3 people and as many as 10 people can play. (Henery's four extra people won't mess it up, but maybe two tables of 7 would be better. lol ;) My suggestion is not to play this every night, but maybe once a week.

If anyone tries this please leave a comment about how it went. A friendly caution though milk has been witnessed flying from nostrils during the course of this game, so keep an extra napkin or set of paper towels close by. :)

Humor Me

A couple years ago I visited the Milwaukee Art museum and saw an exhibt called cut. Which was about cinema and film splicing and editing. In one of the displays it was the song leaving on a jet plane covered by a female vocalist, and the video playing in time with the music was of men's diving. Now men's diving is initially kind of interesting to take in, but this was the same couple of dives over and over again for roughly 3 min. Despite the repetition the song was catchie that you still found yourself standing there for the entire duration. Under the display was a synopsis that talked about how Nazi's originally coined this technique. They would take fine Ariana specimens and set them on a rotating platform. Then they would parade them through the town while playing popular music of the time, in addition to, espousing their propaganda about genetics and race superiority. They noticed that the people swallowed the message more readily when it was set to popular music, and thus the music video was conceived.



I remember sitting through an in service once and watching a video about change, and embracing change with a tag line "Shift Happens," and the music was so catchie and the images so moving you couldn't help but want to be apart of it afterwards. Later I recalled the art exhibit, and in future in services remember to keep this manipulative tool in mind. Is this a good idea, or is someone very invested in mass amounts of people coming to terms or getting on board with a concept.



Its important to be critical of this as most of the time this is used in commercials or ads for people trying to persuade you to spend your almighty dollar on their brand. It is also used to get people to stay longer in clothing stores, because the longer you stay the more likely you are to buy.



And unlike other forms of promotion individuals don't seem to get tired of this type, nor has its effectiveness worn off.



Germans at the time of the Nazi's were a state of great poverty and anguish. They were desperate to believe in something that would save them from their hurting, so despite the birth of an incredibly manipulative promotional tool it would not have taken a whole lot to get people rallied around anything promising as much hope as the Nazis were.



I think a lot these days about adolescents. About all the promotional messages they get infiltrated with and the tools they have to filter out the garbage from the good. To navigate the complexities of the gray areas. I think the song "The Fear"very accurately what a lot of adolescents experience even if they are unaware of it:



Lilly Allen



I attended a course last summer where Chris Farley's brother the key note speaker. He talked about how adolescent raised in loving homes are given all kind of values and morals to combat a lot of what American culture lacks. However he said that once these children reach middle school its like they have been sent out on a boat with only their peers, and those relationships are vital to their survival. And one of the tools that can help an adolescent navigate those rough waters is humor.

Here is an example of a script he gave:

Sandy : "Hey Charlie you going to Allen's party on Friday its going to be a total blast with his folk being out of town."

Charlie : "I would but Flavor of Love is coming over to teach me how to tell time."

Or

Sandy : "There is going to be beer at the party."

Charlie : "Well I only attend parties where heroin and meth are available."

These quick little comebacks help the person doge the response, and distract. In the same way a block in volleyball deflects a hard driven spike from earning the opponent a kill. Its not only a good way to prevent the action its also impressive when it happens. Memorable even after a game finishes out.

You become that kid who makes everyone laugh, and who doesn't like the funny kid. Then the person is free to go to the party or not go to the party but save face in front of his buddies regardless.

You can practice this skill at home with your kids by doing a lot of the types of warm up activities improve groups do. I will post those warm ups in a day or two here.

I know that in a perfect world all our kids make perfect little friends who never pressure them to do anything wrong or naughty, but this just isn't realistic. Especially if they travel in even the most socially accepted secular circle (a.k.a. public school :).

The main speaker at Mean for More two years ago described the traumatic experience of boldly opting out of a party, and the popularity repercussions that followed that bold assertion. Of course she survived and of course she is stronger for having gone through that trial. But having that same expectation for every kid is an enormous error, and maybe this is just what your kid needs.

Let us not forget :

Matthew 10:16 (New International Version)

"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."

Fatal Attraction

I really need to quick address something I heard this a.m. on Q101. The D.J.'s were talking about Steve McNair being shot by his Mistress, and they posed the question about weather or not it is now safe to date 20 something women for listeners to call in.
For those of you who have not heard the story McNair was sleeping with another woman who shot him several times before taking her own life over the 4th of July.
The people who called in were relentless saying that all these girls want to do is party and go on vacations, and its fun at first, but they have no concept of a work ethic. And eventually a man gets tired of "parenting" them. The second caller said that everything the first caller said was true, but his girlfriend was just out of control in bed. Which was met by a round of applause, and cheers. GAG!!

FACT: In 2005, 1,181 women were murdered by an intimate partner. That's an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner.

FACT: 32% of women raped are between the ages of 12 and 17. 64% of women who reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked since age 18 were victimized by a current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date.

FACT: Men perpetrate the majority of violent acts against women (DeLahunta 1997).

FACT: Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted.

For more facts about Violence against Women you can check out this.

There is not a designated age for the men committing these acts of violence, so perhaps then women should just swear off all men. And the only reason this has made the news besides the fact that the victim was famous is because its strange. Women don't typically pull stunts like this, and the adverse reaction is help keep it that way. 20 something women a threat please men are more likely to be stung to death by bees which evidently cause 30 deaths each year. Find out how many men are running around with full body insect nets? Pose that question in your pipe and smoke it Q101.

Untapped Markets

*Warning twilight details will be revealed*

It all started over dinner with Jake and his latest flavor of the month. I always like meeting Jake's love interests.
Sophie was studding to get her librarian license, and aspired to develop a middle school program that ran against the grain of disconnect that takes place between childhood and adulthood when it comes to use of libraries. Foster an adolescent appreciation for literature, reading and of course the dewy decimal. Apparently books written to target the middle school years was a virtually untapped market until Harry Potter arrived on the scene. Stephanie Meyer would soon follow suit and create the vampire romance series Twilight. Sophie is convinced that H.P. and Twilight are solid lit. I kind of think they are just one of a kind. If your the first then you set the bar good or bad you mark the measure. Like John Lennon would sing "No one is with me in my tree. That means it must be high or low."

Not too fond of wizards and booger flavored jelly beans, and with the enormous buzz Edward Cullen was getting as the standard by which all the women in my Relationships course were measuring their boy toys by I opted for Twilight. Its important to make sure that entertainment is filtered with the youth. Who can really live up to an immortal being with decades of schooling and wisdom encapsulate in fair skin, golden eyes, wavy dark hair and a porcelain six pack. Not to mention the ability to sprint to Canada and back in a few hours, and to read minds is a tad unrealistic.

After dragging through the first novel I quickly became immersed in the rest once the character Jacob became a central figure. Jacob the good natured protective type stood in contrast to the perfect Cullen, and tried his damnedest to win the damsels affections, but she consistently chooses the vampire crushing my underdogs heart. Jake eventually settles for being her best friend.

I couldn't help but feel that the main character was a bit selfish to consistently cause her Buddie so much pain. I never actually liked her she kind of came off as a self loathing, self absorbed, snotty, manipulative, boar actually. You know the type sassy, wishy washie, inconsistent, demanding of their way until you give in, and then they back peddle. Obnoxious really. It would have been far more interesting if both men had dumped her.

The finale was kind of disappointing as well. I mean come on Meyer even Rowlings killed off at least one central character. Grow a set.

The sad reality about Bella is that middle school aged women identify with her. Much like Jane in Watchmen she is by no special talent of her own desirable, but because of some genetic factor or force she has no control of or over able to earn the attention / affection of her love interest. It is problematic to lead young women to believe that, and much of this self depreciation I feel is addressed in the book Reviving Ophelia. I can not suggest enough that any person raising a daughter read and apply the principals presented in that book. Or even teachers or any individual who connects with and influences adolescent girls.

Then perhaps authors will begin to write female leads worth identifying with. Individuals that dare I suggest even a fella might say dam why can't I just be a bit more like Wonder Woman. :)

Parachute

Bono once described the Holy Spirit in an interview to be like a woman, because she is inconsistent. Thus the inspiration for the song Mysterious Ways.

1 John 4:16 "God is LOVE! Whoever lives in LOVE lives in God and God in him."

I just think love is messy, and I'm not afraid to get my hands filthy.

With Kel M.I.A. this week in Juarez doing missions, I went looking through the Mexico trip from '06 to feel closer to him in his absence. I set the pics to a song that reminds me of the Holy Spirit.

I've also been keeping tabs on the Twins. Anyone else think we need to trade Baker? lol :) Please be praying for Kel and the youth group.

Cash Connection

The Downer was recently showing a flick called "The Girlfriend Experience." It was about this upscale hooker who was paid by men not only for sexual favors, but also to text them cute messages, pick up their dry cleaning, cook their meals, talk about their favorite sports team, essentially simulate for one week all the perks of having a girlfriend minus the headache of fighting or reciprocation of care / companionship because the rate of exchange in this circumstance was of course cash.
Lots of people find the idea so Novel (Big Eye Roll lol :) when in reality Asian cultures have been doing this forever with their Geisha only the Geisha gets married off to their big spenders. Or arranged marriages were again its clear the couple are pairing up to start a family, or sustain one another financially as well as provide some measure of companionship. No emotions just business.
Some people think its cheap to ascribe a monetary value to companionship / any expression of love. Others think ascribing a monetary value clarifies the situation the expectations, and dollars actually validate. Because well we all know how we treat free items...we take them for granted. :) One could argue either side really. But I'm kind of excited to generate the discussion in my dating and relationships course next fall.

At Odds?

"The art of writing is the highest of those permitted to man." Emerson

I snagged this quote out of The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell to close a point about the Puritans establishing Harvard, and yet people still maintain that religion and education are at odds.

Narative

Tracy Chapman has a song that begins:

There is fiction in the space between

The lines on your page of memories

Write it down but it doesn't mean

You're not just telling stories

There is fiction in the space between

When critics started trying to claim that the accounts of the gospel contradicted one another. The logical response to the criticism was to look at court testimonies, how historical records are deemed as credible, and narratives. To measure these concrete devices for deriving accurate and reliable information, and essentially come to the conclusion that the gospels are different men's accounts of their time and interactions with Christ.

In our quest to derive pure measures of truth some people bought into the notion of relativism. That in all we can hope to understand of the situation and circumstances around us is our very own interpretation of those events. In a way separating us for a larger connective context. Essentially I can not hope to understand how anyone else might perceive or interpret a situation, a poem, a song, a visual image, piece of cake, ect. because I don't have the same biology, past experiences, age, gender, or virtually anything exactly the same as anyone else. Kind of isolating if you really buy into it. Relativism of course has some merit, but is not entirely accurate either.

This separation anxiety and isolating philosophy gave birth to the importance of narrative. Each individual is the main character of their own little reality, and each story is valid in and of itself because it is uniquely told by the only one who can lend itself any sort of legitimacy the person them self.

It is in my opinion why a show such as The Hills can become so outrageously popular. Its not that Laura Conrad herself is so riveting, or her story so engrossing. Its just that a bunch of cameras following around a person easy on the eyes unveiling her mundane intimacies for public display. Visibly displaying one of the central tenants of relativistic thought. Even if we are not Laura Conrad we all kind of feel like her when faced with postmodern relativism driving the cultural shift in popular thought and the way the world view is currently being interpreted from the lens of narrative. Everyones narrative is fascinatingly interesting (even if the cameras only display parts of the story) because it is uniquely theirs.

David Lynch has now also capitalized on this current world view, and done Interview Project. If my friend Hannah still reads this blog she just rolled her eyes, because she knows that I'm a total Lynch fiend. I want to put the disclaimer out there that I did go into viewing I.P. with every measure of resistance I'm capable of. To no avail though, as essentially David with his messy grey and white flock of seagull hair still managed to reel me in. My favorite Interviews to date are Tommy Holiday and Clara. Tommy living for love, and Clara's active resistance to leaving a legacy stating "Life is for the living. I don't need to be remembered."

If you check it out. Let me know what you think. No matter how hard one might try to avoid being saturated by ones culture its kind of inevitable. So here is a project and an aspect of narrative that I think is worth being saturated by. Enjoy!